Recently, I managed to make my computer look like this:

Beautiful, no?

Being the technological ogre that I am, I believed it my duty to share with others how I keep my computer in such good shape. Below are five scenarios that actually happened to me; imagine yourself in my shoes and you will be on your way to computer guru-ness in no time!

Five ways to keep your computer in ship shape:

1. You’re already 5 minutes late for class and the professor talks so fast that even if you furiously type you can never catch everything she says. You haphazardly pack the computer in your backpack and bike to class. When you return to your dorm, you’re so relieved and reflexively toss your backpack to the ground. Oops, looks like you forgot to place the laptop in its protecting sleeve.
2. You’re in the library writing your final paper when the “low battery” warning starts flashing. As you uncoil your adapter, you look around but the only plug is across the space between your desk and the wall meant for others to walk past. “Whatever,” you tell yourself, “they can walk around”. As you sip your coffee, you suddenly have to pee, and run towards the bathroom. Hear that? That’s the sound of you tripping over your cord and your laptop crashing to the floor.
3. It’s finals week, and you’ve got a major paper and tests to study for. You can’t afford to spend any time goofing around, even for dinner. You grab some grub from the dining hall and carry it back to your room. You also stockpile some extra for breakfast so that you don’t have to swipe your card twice. The next morning, you sleepily reach for your alarm and knock over your cranberry juice in the process… all over your keyboard.
4. This one is more about a phone than a computer, but – Once in a while, everyone experiences a crapper that just takes forever. Thinking this might take a while, naturally you will take out your iphone to stave off boredom. As you finally finish, you put your phone back in your jacket pocket, turn around and bend over to flush. Suddenly you hear a plop, just as you realize that your pocket got lighter.
5. This last one is the most recent. It’s 3 am and you’ve been trying to fall asleep for hours. Probably you’re too stressed out about the MCAT, so you take out your computer and decide to watch some TV shows to let off steam. Around 6 am, you start to get tired – too tired to walk and put your computer on the desk. It just so happens that the nightstand, which is within reach, is already covered by other stuff you were too lazy to put away under the same circumstances : hair things, books, pens, etc. You decide the only solution is to leave it on the ground by the bed, since you’ll just pick it up the next morning anyway. As you roll out of bed, you hear a crack and look down.

Follow all of this advice, and your computer will look just like mine! Guaranteed!