I’ve made a rather eventful and shocking decision. I’ve decided to get breast enhancement surgery. I’ve sort of been hiding this from everyone because I didn’t want anyone to know until I was certain about it, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.

My flat chest has always sunk my self-esteem. From the very moment in fourth grade when my first girl friend started to develop boobs, to sixth grade when all my friends were wearing bras, I still looked like an androgynous doll. I did start to notice something forming in my chest that hurt when I pressed against it, but I imagined that they were two mochi sized kidney beans (read all about this here).  In seventh grade, I abashedly asked my mom if I could start wearing a bra, because we had to change in the locker rooms for gym. She only bought me a training bra, and I had to wear the same one every day for three years. When I was in ninth grade, I finally sucked up the courage to buy a real adult bra. I asked my girl friend to take me shopping and teach me how to figure out the bra sizes; I made up some excuse about how I had bought all my bras in China and the sizing was different (it is different).

My first serious boyfriend always told me that he liked the size of my breasts exactly the way they were, everyone else’s was too gaudy and unmanageable. I took that as his way of saying, “it’s ok that you have small breasts, honey”. I think it must be due to the fact that I sleep on my stomach so much.

So I’ve decided to end my sex drought by taking my body into my own hands (or rather, into the surgeon’s hands). Over spring break, the reason I stayed on campus while everyone else was off in Mexico was because I had an appointment at Stanford Hospital Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery to discuss my surgery options. I even have a date scheduled! June 24, right when I come back from school and so I can really enjoy my birthday! For those of you who I won’t see until school starts, you’ll come back to Hot Mama Crystal.

Here is a before picture (I’ll post an after one too, obviously): I apologize that it is so exotic, but it is the only one I have of me from the side. For the curious minded, I’m wearing a Chinese Yunnan ethnic minority traditional dress.

Flat chest prior to surgery

BTW – things you should do today:

• check out youtube and watch your favorite video! It’s not what you remembered
• Try google’s new CADIE program

10/6/6 Feel like I’m about to turn my life around and start anew! Never felt better!