At the Student Sexual Health Center where I volunteer, we keep a shift by shift blog of happenings so all the staff know what’s going on. Reproduced below is a hypothetical entry that I would keep based on my experiences today and in the past.

Wow. Such a long day today. I usually counsel from 2-3, but I volunteered to take on the next shift as well for the rest of the term; Stacey has been dealing with mental health issues lately and kept missing her shift anyway.

Started off pretty slow, no one came in, so I flipped through flashcards of 52 sex positions.

2 Females in for 12 free condoms. They giggled at each other while browsing through our selection.

1 Male in for 3 free condoms, he wanted to ration them out throughout the term.

1 Female asking whether our lube was cheaper than the store’s.

1 Male walked straight in completely ignoring me. I decided to do something else so he wouldn’t feel so awkward. Then he grabbed some condoms and walked directly out before I could even look back up. But wait… I need your ID number..

1 Female in for 12 free condoms. I know her, we have mutual friends. She asked me for recommendations and I just suggested she try a variety until she finds one that she likes. Also asked me about how to become a counselor at the center.

1M and 1F. Looks like they were a couple picking out condoms together. How sweet.

1 F in for a pregnancy test. Went through the key info with her, like that it was only accurate after two weeks, and the directions. She seemed pretty nervous. I suggested she try it in the bathroom down the hall and return if she has any questions.

1 M. First time here, very shy. Didn’t want to talk much to me, and just browsed through our library for a bit. Speaking of library, this book on female orgasms looks pretty good…

Female back in, the pregnancy test didn’t work. Maybe you didn’t pee for long enough? Let’s go through the directions carefully. Here, try it again. Didn’t see her again so guessing it worked the second time.

Shit, its 5:15, where is the next shift? I have somewhere to be…

1 male in with a question. He is scared his girlfriend is asexual because she won’t have sex with him. Heard a lot of “Is that normal?”. I suggested a range of other possible explanations, and advised that he talk with her. Probably she is just scared or uncomfortable, it being her first relationship.  Chatted for 40 minutes.

Guess the next shift didn’t show. I’ve been here for three hours. I’m so outta here.