Since I am waiting for my HIV counseling appointment to start, I think I will take the opportunity to come through on what I wrote in my about page, which is that I love to talk about sex, especially how to make your sex life rockin’ awesome. (And what great timing to prepare for Valentine’s Day!)

There are so many dimensions to sex, that I could devote an entire blog to it and never finish talking about it. Today, I want to just scratch the surface and map out the different topics in sexuality, and in future blogs will go into more depth about sub-topics. However, I need your input to know which topics you want to know more about. Also, there is not just one way of thinking and I don’t have all the answers. Sex is only fun to talk about when it is a discussion; so even though I know some of this can get very embarrassing and personal, I encourage you to post and share your thoughts, opinions, stories, whatever!

First, what adjectives would I ascribe to sex? Here’s a list off of the top of my head, and I would really love to hear what adjectives you can come up with!

Sex can be…
Delicious, fun, hot, stress-relieving, addicting, adventurous, awkward, painful, scary, romantic, tiring, intimate, new…

It’s how you design your sex life that determines whether you come up with the good adjectives or the bad ones. And I urge you to avoid the bad ones.

Sex is fundamentally about how individuals feel about their bodies. Trust me, unless you feel comfortable in your body, you will not feel great in bed. How can you make anyone else appreciate your body if you can’t appreciate it yourself?

Which segues me into the next topic: masturbation. This is a great way to explore your body and know what pleases you. Once you find that out, then you can tell your partner and not waste countless nights trying to get him/her to guess at it. Trust me, your partner will be greatly relieved and you will feel great! Win-win situation.

Sexuality is not heteronormative. People are attracted to all sorts of people. I mean, people are sexy. Next time you talk to someone about sex, try not to assume that sex is only between men and women. I personally have a theory about a continuum of bisexuality: all people are neither hetero nor homosexual, but rather fall on a spectrum of bisexuality. It just depends whether you fall at 90% straight or 90% homosexual. I have yet to meet anyone who is 100% only attracted to a certain gender. More on this theory later.

Sex is fun, but not without its risks. The choice to be sexually active comes with responsibilities to protect both you and your partner. Safe sex does not have to come at the cost of pleasure, and can actually be sexy!

What is the role of sex education? Sex education is very broad and starts as soon as we are born. We are our own best teachers about sex. Often I believe that children are the best sexual beings, because they behave without any moral or social biases.

So those are some of the topics I can think of to discuss when it comes to sex. If I missed a topic that you want to hear more about, just let me know in the comments. Everyone have a happy, sexy, and safe Valentine’s Day Weekend!