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You loved the song, “Do you remember?” by Jack Johnson, and you would always play it for me, telling me that you wish you could still play it for me in ten years. I always thought the line, “You were lazy about it you made me wait around” was pretty apt for how our relationship got started. We danced around for a long time, both of us too shy to initiate anything. That’s how it goes with high schoolers, right? We went out many times, to a football game, an arts and crafts festival, a book fair, (how did you let me drag you to these things?) the movies, but it was never very clear whether these were dates – and I was too nervous to pursue the matter further. One time while watching a movie at my house, I even wanted to lean against you, but was too embarrassed and came up with the solution of putting a pillow between us and leaning on that. Finally, after Christmas, I gave you a call. I was sitting in the kitchen of my best friend’s house, and I asked you plainly, “Do you like me as more than a friend?”. You said yes. I was ecstatic.

High school dating is so cute. I hate dating in college – you go from just dating to basically being married just like that [snap]. In high school is when we first start to learn what dating is about. It’s a journey that we go on together to learn our preferences and boundaries, what ticks us off and what makes us tick. You would wait for me outside of my class and walk me to my next class. Since you were a senior, you skipped class a lot to find me. In the mornings, you waited beside my locker, and in the afternoons, you walked me to my bus. Sometimes you even drove me home, even though you lived 40 minutes in the opposite direction. We would do really cute things together, like both dress up nicely for no reason; I remember on that day I found you sleeping in your blue shirt and trousers next to my locker, and as I walked up in my high heels and pink-flowered skirt, you hugged my legs with your eyes still closed.

We were skipping class, lounging at the end of the hallway against the blue radiator, when you suddenly asked me, “Would it be ok if I told you that I loved you?” I asked, “Are you saying that you love me?”. “No, I’m just asking if it would be ok for me to say so”. A few days later we were lying on my bed, talking. You suddenly told me “Crystal, I love you”. I didn’t know what to say. To be honest, I didn’t love you at the time. At least, I had never been in a serious relationship and so didn’t really know what it all meant. I asked you if it was alright if I didn’t say anything. I think you knew that I would eventually figure out my feelings, and so you weren’t too upset that I didn’t say “I love you too” immediately.

A month later you left for a week for Florida, and I could not bear it. I missed you so much that I could feel it in my body. That is when I knew that I loved you. While on the phone, I wanted to tell you – but I was so shy that I kept stopping myself. When you finally told me you had to go, I shouted out, “Wait! I have something to tell you!” Then I delayed for about an hour while you walked around trying to balance yourself on the curb. “I love you”. There. I had said it. “I know. I love you too,” you replied. Later I asked you whether you knew what I was going to say, and you responded, “Of course, it was obvious”. I didn’t think it was that obvious…