This week is my final week in Oxford, and what am I doing? I am not studying for my final exam on Thursday, I am not writing my research paper due on Tuesday, I am not spending my last few days exploring the city in which I will never again have the chance to be a student, I am not taking my last chances to hang out with my Oxford friends, I am not bonding with my Stanford housemates….

I am spending all day holed up in my room feeling sorry for myself. Crystal, you never get enough sleep, take a break today, you can work tomorrow after you’ve gotten a nice rest. That’s what I told myself yesterday. Crystal, you should call your ex-boyfriend. I know you feel worse every time after talking to him, but this time it will be different. Maybe this time he will actually care about you. In fact, he probably misses you a lot more than you think.

If someone else were born instead of me, that person would be so much more productive, well-liked, and prettier. She would actually do something with herself. She wouldn’t be me.