Written by a good friend and the author of “Why do I still care?” Comparing the two entries, it’s evident that he has learned a lot about himself – and offers advice that I need to learn as well.

Ever broken up and wished and hoped that someday you and your ex will get back together? You start to treat that him/her right, converse, and try to begin anew. However none of that matters if the same arguments that have occurred in the past continue to occur.

Even if everything seems amicable, old conflict will hold you back. You absolute have to move on in order to begin the healing process. You have to let go of the things that made you two argue in the first place. You have to be willing to forgive and must be more understanding and forgiving. Trust plays a huge role as well. However, even if you do everything right, the other person may find someone else. In that case, do not get angry, do not get mad, and do not be jealous. Congratulate your ex for finding someone else he/she cares about.

You cannot wait for the other person forever. In fact, you should not wait at all. You will only depress yourself and waste other opportunities that lie ahead. If you two were meant for each other, things will work themselves out. Being jealous will guarantee that things will not work out. It’s best to simply move on, enjoy life, and grow so that the next time you two encounter each other, you will be a much better person.

I’ve been stuck in such a cycle. I’ve moved on, I’m letting things go, but the arguments continue. There can be no way of getting back together if that keeps up. For several weeks now things were going uphill, and everything seems to be going great. And yet, the same stupid arguments have not let up. One day, a huge argument broke out which was basically the same as the arguments of the past, and continued the same old crap that had always kept the relationship back. It seems like something I cannot escape. To break the cycle either my ex or I have to change, and I cannot rely on my ex for that. I have full control over my own actions, and thus it is up to me.

If you’re stuck in such a cycle, remember that you have the power to change it, but it takes a lot of effort, and a lot of patience. You cannot expect immediate results, and it could take years. That’s what I’ll be doing, putting in more effort, and having a great deal more patience. I refuse to give up.