What exactly is the Trouble with Crystal? Life reflections of a crazy girl.
Starting a business is hard. I started a local business my senior year in high school, which began as a one room operation with me, one other teacher, and eight students. After four years, I have extended an offer to join the operation to many others, including a partnership offer to my younger brother. I thought everything was for the best; I could distribute the responsibility while mentoring my brother in this unique work experience. Since I was going away to college, I needed people who were still in the area to continue the work.
However, things did not turn out as expected. My brother decided that I no longer had any right to make decisions since I was never around. He neglected my repeated advice and request for updates about the organization. He took everything in his own hands and refused to allow me any responsibility.
As a result, the organization regressed. Enrollment fell to less than half the previous year, and profits dropped from on the order of 5,000 to negative; that’s right, we didn’t even break even.
I suggested some changes, but after a furious email debate, it was evident that my brother and I had different visions of what the mission of the organization should be, and where the organization should go. Any normal professional disagreement would normally be settled through a bureaucratic process or civil discussion, but my brother and I just resorted to how we handle disagreements at home: name-calling and shouting. It got personal when he started crying about how he had always looked up to me and how I had abused him.
The result of the disagreement? I stepped down from the organization, handed over full responsibility to my brother, and, for the meantime anyway, have blocked all emails and chats from him.
You can fire those who work for you, you can break partnerships up, but you can’t sever your family.
One Response for "You’re fired, Bro: Why you should never start a business with your family"
This is absolutely true. I have some personal experiences similar to yours. My grandparents run a pretty sizable company. A few years ago my parents decided to help them run the company because my grandparents are getting old.
This turned out to be a horrible idea that pretty much ruined the stability and balance of my immediate family. This wasn’t really a problem for me (other than lack of financial support for tuition) because I had already gone to college, but it was terrible for my little brother.
In business, you have to be able to say, “It’s not personal, it’s just business.” But when you’re dealing with your family, every little decision becomes personal, and arguments about 100% business matters can quickly escalate into personal attacks that will leave you hurt and scarred.
I’m sure some small family owned businesses work fine, but if they grow to a critical size, and if the family relations aren’t absolutely perfect, things will turn sour.
I think this applies to spouses as well. So the point is: think very carefully about bringing your family into a business before you do it. Be willing to step out in order to save your relationship.
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